INDIANAPOLIS – In yet another technology set-back University Campus announces that the Scientific Library lost power for a short time last week. However, Chief of Maintenance Pat Bottoms announced that “we had that muther back on line in less than two days!”
According to Stevie Crier, Scientific Library Associate, this is “just [expletive deleted]! Said Crier “First the power goes out and then we lose AC. By noon it was 95 degrees in my [expletive deleted] office! Worse still: My gerbil collection died due to the extreme heat!”
Bottoms however was not impressed with Crier’s comments: “That little [expletive deleted] is always up there whining about something! First he wanted a desk. Then he complained that his phone smelled funny. Now this!"
When asked to comment, Ass. Dean of Libraries Scotchlick pointed to the emergency action plan dubbed “Operation Penguin” that was implemented almost “immediately.” Said Scotchlick “We sent over five boxed fans, blocks of ice, and five penguins. By Noon that very same day we had the ice set up in front of those fans and those little penguins were flapping and a flapping…”
Crier, however was nonplused: “Yeah it was cool for a while but those damn penguins eventually got tired. Heck, you couldn’t expect them to just keep flapping like that? Worse still, one of the little [expletive deleted] humped my leg and crapped all over my office! I bet Harvard librarians don’t have to put up with this [expletive deleted]!
Schotchlick, who was in a workshop for sensitivity training, was unavailable for comment.
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