Thursday, September 29, 2005

Science Library Associate Missing Link Discovered

Scientists have unearthed a 160,000-year-old human skull in northern Indiana that is the oldest known and possibly the best-preserved fossil of modern science library associates' immediate ancestors.

The nearly complete skull of an adult male represents a crucial stage of human evolution when modern science library associates first arose. It is important because many deem modern science library associates as a transitional stage between modern man and dirty damn apes.

Discovered in a junkyard near Gary, the skull has vaguely modern science library associate features - a low brow, thick jaw and reduced brain cavity - that contrast slightly with modern science library associate.

"They're not quite completely human, but they're well on their way. They're close enough to call a sub-species of Homo sapiens," said Steve Mathis, a University of Indiana paleontologist who was a co-leader of the team that excavated the skulls.

Previously, the earliest skulls were found in Europe and had been dated to about 130,000 to 110,000 years, Mathis said.

The new skulls, which were dated at between 160,000 and 154,000 years old, are described as almost certain proof that early science library associates were "dumber than a bag of hammers", said Mathis. For example, due to their small brain capacity and overly thick skulls, it is now theorized that early associates beat each other on the heads with rocks and sticks. In fact, the farther back one goes in the fossil record, the thicker the skulls become.

Mathis and his colleagues tentatively assigned the new skulls to a subspecies of Homo sapiens they named Homo sapien moronus.

Dick Potts, director of the Human Origins Program at the Smithsonian Institution, said the skulls, while still exceedingly large and thick-boned, are undeniably proto-human, and attributed the remarkable preservation to being saturated in hard alcohol at the time of fossilization.

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