What's In a Name Pt. II?

OK, after reading the Pfitz Pfactor I HAD to try the Kalabarian Philosophy Name Analyzer.

Here's what it said for Bradley:

Although the name Bradley creates the urge to be reliable and responsible, we emphasize that it limits your versatility and scope, tuning you to technical details. This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the elimination system, and through worry and mental tension.
Your first name of Bradley has given you a practical, logical, analytical approach to life and a great deal of patience. You enjoy working at anything of a mechanical or technical nature, and believe that what is worth doing is worth doing well. When you are interested in a project, you concentrate all your thoughts on it and do not appreciate being interrupted. This name creates a deliberate and methodical way of thinking and speaking; it takes you time to learn but, once you have mastered a subject, you do not forget it.

And here's what it said for Brad:

While the name Brad creates the urge to be creative, independent and original, we point out that it limits self-expression and friendly congeniality with a tendency to be moody. This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses heart, lungs, bronchial area, and tension or accidents to the head.
The name of Brad gives you a very individual, reserved, serious nature. You prefer to be alone with your own thoughts, rather than in the company of others. This name restricts spontaneity in association and the fluency of your verbal expression. When you are required to express yourself in personal matters requiring finesse and diplomacy, you feel awkward and embarrassed. Although you realize perfectly well what is expected of you, you are unable to find the right words, and hence you end up saying something inappropriate in a candid way. You can express your deeper thoughts and feelings best through writing.

OK, I suspect what we have here is a version of The Forer Effect and Selective Thinking.

My suspicions grow even more after testing the following names: Fart, Burp, and Gas.

Fart:

Although the name Fart creates the urge to be creative and original, we point out that it causes an emotional intensity and a dominating nature that is hard to control. This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the nervous system, and tension or accidents to the head.
The first name of Fart creates an intense personal nature. Your feelings and emotional desires are strong and consequently you are an individual, determined, strong-willed person. Your creative nature and ambition drive you to pursue success to the extent that you jeopardize your personal well-being. There is a tendency for you to dominate others. You are too certain of yourself, and you are not open to the views of others or responsive to their desires or needs. Also, this name does not incorporate qualities that enable you to be diplomatic and to compromise.

Burp:

While the name Burp creates the urge to be self-expressive and happy, we point out that causes a scattered and emotional nature. In the long term, it can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the liver and bloodstream.
Your first name of Burp makes you extremely generous. You have a bubbling, spontaneous nature and a happy-go-lucky outlook which helps smooth the pathway of life. Also you are sympathetic to the needs of others. Interested in art, music, singing, dancing, and anything of an artistic nature, you could become a very fine performer. Your spontaneous expression stands you in good stead during arguments or debates, though you are perhaps too outspoken and inclined to sarcasm.

Gas:

Although the name Gas creates the urge to be creative and original, we point out that it causes an emotional intensity and a dominating nature that is hard to control. This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the nervous system, and tension or accidents to the head.
The first name of Gas creates an intense personal nature. Your feelings and emotional desires are strong and consequently you are an individual, determined, strong-willed person. Your creative nature and ambition drive you to pursue success to the extent that you jeopardize your personal well-being. There is a tendency for you to dominate others. You are too certain of yourself, and you are not open to the views of others or responsive to their desires or needs. Also, this name does not incorporate qualities that enable you to be diplomatic and to compromise.

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Just like a friend recommended to me twenty-five years ago to get a written Name Report, I recommend you do the same thing and invest in your future. Take the step and go forward today. I guarantee it will be the best $27 you've ever spent.

However, after running an analysis on the name "sucker" I still have my doubts!

Although the name Sucker creates executive ambitions, we emphasize that it causes a restless intensity that defies relaxation. This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the reproductive organs, and solar plexus.
The name of Sucker creates an extravagant, ambitious nature with the desire for financial prominence. You desire the best in life and appreciate quality in all things. This name has made you rather aggressive, shrewd, and critical and has caused you to be extremely independent. You have the analysis, vision, and promotional ability to make progress. You could achieve heights of success in business, but there is also a factor which brings many forced changes and friction with people, which in turn offsets the success you could achieve.

Now if you'll all excuse me I have serious things to waste my money on. For example, I promised myself that I'd order my aluminum foil deflector beanie this month!

Librarians to Get Pants: Fact or Fiction?

A $300.00 announcement by Ass. Dean Sam Scotchlick yesterday will see for the allocation of pants to all male reference librarians at University Library.

"Now, our male librarians will have pants. No longer will their legs be subjected to paper cuts and toner ink stains," said Scotchlick at an announcement given next to The Sacred University Diorama™. "Finally, they will now have somewhere to put their wallets."

The new funding for librarian pants is long overdue, according to some male librarians.

"I might have taken a job elsewhere if I knew up front that I couldn’t wear pants at the desk," said disgruntled Reference Librarian Brad Stevens. "I have very feminine legs, which made me the butt of many jokes from my subordinates. This indignation has led to my abuse of alcohol, prescription drugs; and, my habit of charging at patrons while braying like a sheep."

Library Associate Stevey Crier, presently “drying out in rehab”, was on hand for the announcement via videophone. He gave it his support.

Said Crier: "Yeah I was getting tired of seeing his [Brad’s] skinny legs. I guess it's good news that he finally will have pants to wear.”

Male reference librarians have been pantsless since substantive cuts made to the library budget in 2001. While the decision to cut away pants funding for male librarians was a controversial one, it was seen as necessary if the Ass. Dean’s wanted her new office built.

"Everyone had to do a little belt-tightening during those dark days," said Scotchlick, (Ass. Dean). "Actually, maybe that's a poor choice of words…"

However, Stevens was not impressed with the administration’s announcement.

"This…this is just [expletive deleted]! Four years without pants and now they act like they’re doing me a favor! They’ll be sorry! First this, then they made me share an office with a self-described “blond bombshell” who didn’t use deodorant or ever actually work! Mark my words, they’ll regret the day that they ever hired me..."

Despite his support, Library Associate Crier expressed the need for all male staff members to have pants.

"If I could afford it, I would buy a pair of jeans, but you know, gotta buy booze and pain meds. Sure, our female administrators get pants to wear around the library, and here I am in my jockey shorts. Do you know how embarrassing it is to shift books in your boxers?"

Ass. Dean Scotchlick could not be reached for comment.

Capitalism at work

Now this article is just sad.

Man gets the poop on outsourcing

Relles, one of a rising number of Americans seeking new opportunities as their work shifts to countries with cheaper labor, has spent the past year making his living scooping up dog droppings as the "Delmar Dog Butler"... "My parents paid for me to get a (degree) in math and now I am a pooper scooper"

Now if this isn't a rationalization I don't know what is:

St. Bernard (dogs) are my favorite customers since they poop in large piles which are easy to find," Relles said.

I've said it before and I'm going to keep saying it:

Fundamentalists in the US are often great supporters of capitalism and traditional values. However, a historical/sociological study of business and the industrial age shows that capitalism and globalism is arguably AS GREAT a threat to tradition as secularization is.

Biotech tinkering getting out of hand

From http://www.registerguard.com/news/2005/04/03/b1.ed.col.rifkin.0403.html

The first such chimeric experiment occurred many years ago when scientists in Edinburgh, Scotland, fused together a sheep and goat embryo - two completely unrelated animal species that are incapable of mating and producing a hybrid offspring in nature. The resulting creature, called a geep, was born with the head of a goat and the body of a sheep.

Now, scientists have their sights trained on breaking the final taboo in the natural world - crossing humans and animals to create new human-animal hybrids of every kind and description. Already, aside from the humanized mouse, scientists have created pigs with human blood running through their veins and sheep with livers and hearts that are mostly human.

The pros:

Researchers say the more humanized they can make research animals, the better able they will be to model the progression of human diseases, test new drugs and harvest tissues and organs for transplantation into human bodies.

The cons:

Some researchers are speculating about human-chimpanzee chimeras - creating a humanzee. A humanzee would be the ideal laboratory research animal because chimpanzees are so closely related to human beings. Chimpanzees share 98 percent of the human genome, and a fully mature chimp has the equivalent mental abilities and consciousness of a 4-year-old human. Fusing a human and chimpanzee embryo - a feat researchers say is quite feasible - could produce a creature so human that questions regarding its moral and legal status would throw 4,000 years of ethics into utter chaos.

(Total digression but I hear that if they do create a humanzee they plan to name it Steven. In fact, I hear that based on the genetic modeling of Steven, this humanzee will have a penchant for not bathing, laying around all day doing nothing, it will be extremely hairy, and like to fling bananas at pretty women while jumping up and down on his desk in a monkey-like rage.
Serious mode on.

OK, I don't have an issue with using animals to generate human organs. In fact, they are already doing this with pig livers. However, I am not so comfortable when we start to tinker with human and animal brains. In fact, this has the potential to open up an ethical Pandora's Box!

It sounds like the National Academy of Sciences plan to issue guidelines that regulate this type of research:

National Academy of Sciences, the United States' most august scientific body, is expected to issue guidelines for chimeric research this month.

So, I'm hoping that they draw an ethical line here.

The problem is, even if they do I can all but guarantee you that if this can be done, someone on the planet will try it.

This is what worries me...

Good Eats!

Check out the most recent submission to the Agora Webring:

Culinary Novice - http://abstract2collective.blogspot.com/

If you like to eat it looks like she has some good recipies posted!